Industry of misunderstanding

I’ve been involved with a field of work called user experience design for about 25 years. It is a discipline, or a domain, much like software development or business management or leadership or legal or sales. What it is not is an industry. An industry, put simply, is a bunch of businesses or organizations that function within the same sphere of an economy like healthcare or automotive or higher education or financial services or technology or energy. If what we really mean is the digital industry, then we should say that. But user experience design is not only applicable to the world of tech that is coded by a software developer who makes the design of the thing come to life on a screen.

When did the field of user experience design (UX) become referred to as an industry? It is not a business that generates revenue unto itself so how can it be an industry? When did the title or moniker UXer come to life? It doesn’t mean anything except maybe user experience designer but then if we have that, what is a product designer? It seems all of these titles are meant to indicate work in a digital sector so we should say that.

The misunderstanding of user experience design will continue as long as we keep attaching the wrong phrases and words to them. It is sad that it’s about to turn over to 2025 and we’re in worse shape as a discipline, a domain that can apply to a lot of different industries. How hard is that to comprehend? It seems straightforward to me but that’s because I have a business background first, design is just a part of that 👿

Usability people!

Forget UX and all the bullshit surrounding it. Go back to usability everyone. That’s where UX was supposed to have its core and now it’s just a couple of letters that was misunderstood to begin with but now? Holy shit. Here’s a simple example of where UX is NOT happening. Anywhere on a browser that uses multi factor authentication and doesn’t tend to the interaction details that make it easiest on users. Here is what I mean:

User goes to [insert app here – like DoorDash or Instacart or some other horrible company] and signs in using whatever username.

App send user a verification code.

User goes back to screen to insert a 4 or 6 digit code.

If the cursor is NOT in the input box where the numeric code needs to be inserted, you are NOT doing UX (or product design whatever the fuck you call it when you fuck around in Figma, export to send to dev ticket).

Does it work? Yes, it will pass your unit test. Is it useable? Yes, I can get logged in. Is it user friendly or user center4ed or any of those things? NOT AT ALL. Why? Because there is unnecessary friction between me and the thing I’m trying to log into. It’s like anything where there is a number entry field and my keyboard is still showing me all the fucking letters. NO. You are not a UX person or UXer 😡 (I hate that one almost as much as UX/UI and UI/UX🤢at this point) if you do not eat your own dogfood.

Get out of Figma. Get into the mode of delivery for your design ASAFP. If you don’t, you’re doing it fucking wrong 😈

Now go donate to Wikimedia or be sorry and ashamed you didn’t when it’s gone.

It’s fucking disgraceful

Yes, Steve Schmidt, you got that right, it’s fucking disgraceful. Donald is, among many other ugly things, absolutely disgraceful and so is everything that comes along with him.

I’ll never understand how average people don’t see the con. Never. Exactly never will I be able to wrap my head around it. Cult? Sure. But come on not in 2024. People can get the truth if they really want it, it does exist. There are no alternative facts, only facts, fictions and a lot of complex things that can’t be boiled down to bumper sticker length.

But when he and his crew are stealing from us, that’s when I lose all ability to comprehend how people not only buy into his bullshit but act like rabid sports fans flying his flag and doing his jerkoff dance. What the actual fuck has happened. (Fully rhetorical question, nnta).

Kitty Rescue Me

Why I want to give you a pile of money for your house (pick me, pick me).

I’m – insert my name here – and I’m the person offering – insert $ here – for – insert address here.

The possibility of having you select my offer for your property is way too personal and important to me to communicate with you solely via – insert agent name here – (my real estate agent) and your agent.

I’d like this home for so many reasons, it’s hard to list them all but here goes:

  • All the reasons why everyone wants it!
  • It already felt like my home. Great vibe.
  • It’s peaceful, quiet, while still being near things.
  • There’s room for growing vegetables and flowers
  • I’d have the space for one of my (small-ish) dreams: an extra large catio.
    • Bonus, there’s already a cat door.
  • There’s space to start building my (much bigger) dream little by little: a cat rescue.
  • The amount of space makes it possible to consider other animals.

It’s been my dream for a long time to be able to save older cats from going into shelters when their owners pass and the animal has nowhere else to go. Where I live now is incredible but it’s California and I want to come back to this area to be close to my friends and family. I don’t really believe in “signs” from the universe and things like that but, in this case, I feel like it’s a little too coincidental that your home is on a street named Hollywood near others named Los Angeles and Pasadena.

Even though some of this may sound a little cheesy, I thought I’d share it anyway, thank you for taking the time to read it. Wishing you all the best – no matter what you decide.

Sincerely,
Me

BUT WAIT! There’s this one by ChatGPT. . .

Dear [Homeowner’s Name],

I hope this letter finds you well. My name is [Your Name], and I wanted to take a moment to share a little bit about myself and the vision I have for your beautiful home, as well as express my heartfelt gratitude for the opportunity to submit an offer.

For years, I’ve dreamed of creating a sanctuary for cats whose owners have passed away, offering these beloved companions a safe, loving home where they can live out the rest of their days in comfort. This dream is rooted in my belief that every pet deserves dignity and care, even when life takes unexpected turns. I envision this sanctuary as not only a haven for the cats but also a source of peace for families who can rest assured their cherished pets are in good hands.

When I walked through your home, I immediately felt something special. The warmth and character of the space seemed to welcome me—and I couldn’t help but imagine how perfect it would be for creating this sanctuary. The rooms could be transformed into cozy nooks for the cats, the outdoor space could become a serene area for them to safely explore, and the house itself feels like a place where love can thrive.

I want you to know that, if you choose to sell your home to me, it will become so much more than a house. It will be a place filled with purpose, kindness, and care—a tribute to the animals we hold dear and the families who love them.

Thank you for considering my offer. I know letting go of a home can be a deeply personal and emotional decision, and I would be honored to steward it into this next chapter. If there’s anything I can do to make this process smoother for you, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

With gratitude and warm regards,
[Your Full Name]
[Contact Information]

Can I detach?

This is not a post about Scientology. I’m talking about tech. And when I say tech, first and foremost, I mean “Can I detach from my iPhone”? I need to because it’s just gone too fucking far. I read a comment in the Washington Post in response to an editorial about how to deal with the latest changes to Apple’s operating system which is one of the things that led to digging for my flip phone this morning that made me want to throat punch someone or just bury my head in my pillow. (I chose the pillow and a little more snuggle time with my cat).

I’ve been in or adjacent to UX since the late 1990’s. I almost don’t want to type that but it’s true and I will own what that means to me somewhere else. Not defending UX right now. What I do need to do is vent which is why this stupid blog is here! So, the comment, in relation to Apple’s iOS (NOT a fucking upgrade) move to iOS 18.1.1 on my poor, little iPhone SE (yes it has a fucking home button, so what?!) was about how it’s the fault of all those UX whatever…ok, lemme find said comment somehow…I’ve impressed myself and here it is:

Screenshot

Now that I’ve re-read it, I want to cry a little. What JL from Seattle is referring to is a problem I contributed to creating – without realizing it at the time. It didn’t take me that long to settle on the fact that I had to ditch the profit-driven entities (ahem, talking to you CareerFoundry and Designlab and General Assembly and others) that were and still are more involved in ruining an entire discipline than me. The thing I do have to laugh about for a sec is how I’m on the outside of all of it now which reminds me of a movie scene from In Good Company which I’ll find if anyone ever gives a shit. (Yes, I’m totally ADHD and referring to two facts:

1. the fact that I mentored a lot of students at bootcamps where ‘user experience’ (UX), as the commenter mentions above devolved into being only understood as the shit that surfaces on the screen which is the ‘user interface’, a part of the UX but only a part.) cry, a little

2. the fact that I was a UX person in the corporate world and ended up on a layoff list in 2023. laugh, jokes on me

Back to the bigger picture of being addicted to the iPhone (thanks Steve!) because I can’t give my profession more energy right now. What I can do is look at how the tech industry (UX is not an industry god dammit!!!) is impacting me which is to say, how on earth can I get away from this fucking device?

The detaching starts by charging the flip phone and getting the # out of it because I’m not sure I know where I put it. Oh, wait. It’s in my fucking iPhone! The ability to answer the question Can I detach affirmatively means having a process. Starting with getting all the necessary pieces of information out of the fucking iPhone. Maybe I’ll go to Chaucers and buy myself another present, a new Moleskin notebook 😈

What’s the word for that?

What’s the word for that thing that happens to a lot of us when we sit down to write and everything that hits the page gets deleted? That thing happens to me where I try, I start, I might have a thread of an idea but then whatever I write seems totally fucking irrelevant, stupid, ridiculous, unoriginal and unnecessary. Hard on myself? I guess that’s a yes.

The overload or distraction has to do with that voice but at this point in the evolution of everyone saying everything out into the internet it really feels more like screaming into a void than ever. But here I am with my own little blah dee blag machine trying to say something worth saying.

When I started all this tech and digital stuff I never thought it’d get to the point where I’d be repulsed by my own addictions to it while simultaneously finding wonder in the predictive nature of the thing I’m typing into right now. So what is that word? Attention deficiency for sure but there’s something else. That discounting of my own ideas before they’re even fully formed. The destruction is strong, almost immediate and definitely constant.

“who gives a shit” “get over it” “snap out of it” “it’s not … enough”

I guess naming it with a word doesn’t really matter. Awareness is more important and I’ll keep trying to shut that all down even though it’s a force – or maybe I flip that around – I’m a force to be reckoned with 😈

How’s Al Gore?

I wonder how Al Gore is doing these days. Here we are more than 25 years later and it’s not only worse, people have a complete inability to imagine how bad things can get.

I wander around my neighborhood and marvel at everything. The fruit trees, fresh air, pretty flowers, birds, islands, clouds, sky and sun. It’s special. It’s also delicate. The ocean and air are clean right now but the unpredictable nature of the weather means that could all go away – anytime. But today. Perfect.

Sorry for all of us that oil and gas took control in 2000. What does it get them, the few with all the power and money, if the planet they’ve taken from can’t sustain life any longer?

Apple makes iBloat 🫥

Apple’s added more bullshit bloat to iOS in the last handful of updates than I ever could have imagined. Is there an iMessage emoji team? Does anyone on it talk to the iMessage sticker team or is that the same team? Someone decided to add even editing editing to iMessage which I expected would happen eventually. I know more than a couple of people who have whined about wanting italics in their ‘text’ messages. I get it. So many of us use the iThings constantly that we develop our own product feature backlog.

But. That doesn’t mean the Apple product people have to make the thing have italics – and bold, underline and strike through. Why the fuck on the perfect, little planet would humans need to be able to underline in their iMessage. Notice that I do not say text. That’s because they’re not the same and it’s ok it it’s unclear what’s blue and what’s green.

And the they had to go and add effects to the iMessage. Animate a word for emphasis. Make it bounce or get bigger or smaller or even explode. Holy shit we have been missing that forfuckingever. THANK YOU Apple iMessage software product people!

If this is what kills the battery of the device faster I guess Apple wins again if winning means making a shit ton more money for a relatively small number of people. Good one, Apple. You win the toxic garbage game again. But really fucking clever of you to hide it right under the consumers thumbs.

Who to listen to

The playbook is open and the authoritarian is out in the open. To keep sane and able to see the big picture of what’s happening, there are voices to trust and others to be very, very wary of. It’s binary this time, no more placating the squishy bullshit. To that I say fuck no. But first the positive, the absolutely yes list off the top of my head.

Yes:

Timothy Snyder

Mary Trump

Brian Karem

Wajahat Ali

Danielle Moodie

Steve Schmidt

Jeff Tiedrich

Kara Swisher

Scott Galloway

Cindy Gallop

Jon Stewart

Josh Johnson

Seth Meyers

Desi Leidic

Ronnie Cheng

Stephen Colbert

Jimmy Kimmel

Rachel Maddow

Amy Goodman

Fuck No:

NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, NY Times, Washington Post, Fox News, Newsmax, OAN

Any other hypocritical opportunistic MF’s.

the No Code joke

have you heard the one about the software or excuse me, the app, that just makes things for you and you don’t have to know any code? well, the software can do things but the human has to tell it what to do, the software doesn’t think. and, the app won’t say, “hey, you just pasted thousands of unnecessary characters while adding a three-word heading”. but you did. and I’m tempted to paste it all right here just to prove to people it is true, the shit is everywhere and it’s why your next flight might be canceled. imagine adding new (no code) stuff to this.

one heading: 35,927 characters, 496 lines. multiply that because there are five more just like it on your three tiny website boxes. that’s hundreds of thousands of extra characters. and it is utterly useless, it doesn’t even give you a glimpse into someones trade secrets – although it could.

I just took a closer look and the culprit is Fucking Figma this time. Geniuses. (/figma)

Way worse than anything I have ever seen.

Speechless.

Do not be afraid

Fear. Fatigue. Friction and a whole lotta fucked up. That is what they want. The oligarchs want the rest of us to be cleaved in two and arguing about all that which does not matter. Look at what they’re really doing, set aside the firehoses of shit coming from media – social, corporate, mainstream, no stream – because it’s just not useful. It is only going the fuel fear and outrage which leads to fighting each other and exhaustion.

Standing up means being separated from those spaces which for me can be lonely but I’m not going to live there. I live here where the mountains meet the pacific.

Do not be afraid of anything. This is our country and it’s the only one we have.

~ Alexei Navalny (June 4, 1976 – February 16, 2024, murdered by Putin)

Nope. No fear, I can’t waste energy there because it only ripples outward. It’ll take a ton more energy but today is another day of doing it.

How long, how long

How long how long woman will you weep. How long how long rock yourself to sleep.

How long how long woman will you wait. How long how long before it’s too late.

Instead of trying to answer how long, I look for workarounds. In this case, server stuff. I was trying to download some files and started to wonder how long – in total – have I spent waiting for things to load. There’s no way to know exactly but I suppose if I decided to add it up it’s possible to get a number. Days? Weeks? I’m trying to talk myself out of it while I wonder what the total looks like.

Another moment of feeling the relentlessness of being a human on the planet right now. Spinning on a spinning planet in the midst of a vast universe wondering how we’ve come to be this version of humans.

To Xfinity and beyond

Xfinity can go fuck itself. I will never understand how a company is allowed to treat customers so poorly while still raking in millions. How can anyone sit in their high office and take those big paychecks and seriously say everything is ok when it’s clearly not at all ok.

If I had to add up the number of hours spent undoing the Xfinity Mobile situation created by simply trying to keep a phone number, it’d probably be around 10 at this point.

The logo for live chat

Live Agent

Last Tuesday

Your Xfinity account has been disconnected. There’s a remaining balance of $254.40 on your bill. You can make a payment or chat with an agent below.

I need the mobile care department

No problem. I’ll put you in touch with a live agent now.

Chat with an agent

OK. I’ll put you in touch with a live agent now.

Hi M&p, thank you for contacting Xfinity. My name is Pothireddy. I see you may have questions about your bill. Is that correct?

No. I need a return label to send a mobile device back to you

mobile care department olease

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. As you have reached to me so I will do everything I can from my side to sort this out for you.

… as i am here from the internet core billing team i do have limited access to give the details please do not worry i will connect you with the mobile team they will help you with this

Shall i connect you with the mobile team

Is there a # for that team I am trying to reach them as this is not a billing issue

yes i need mobile tram

team

Sure! Please stay connected.

I need a return label to send back a mobile device

I do not want xfinity mobile as I have service from elsewhere

I will check your account details for the same for the same

I am assuming you are still checking, is that correct?

?

hello? Are you still ther?

Xfinity Assistant is a virtual assistant, and some responses may be AI generated. To help improve and personalize your experience, your chat may be monitored and recorded. By starting this chat, you agree to the recording and collection of your information. See our Privacy Policy for more details.

Today


I’m Xfinity Assistant. I can help you with things like explaining your charges or changing your Xfinity ID and password.

To get started, here are some suggestions. For help with something else, type what you need.

Additional suggestions and FAQsLearn about Xfinity Mobile Where’s my order? Billing and payment Data usage and options View my WiFi info Help with Xfinity Email Xfinity Privacy Center 

I need a return label for a mobile device

I can help you make returns to Xfinity a few different ways, including contactless options. How would you like to make your return?

If you haven’t already, please contact us to confirm any change to your service.Home pickup Xfinity Store drop off UPS Store drop off Return or exchange xFi Pods I already made my return 

return a mobile device

I can help you make returns to Xfinity a few different ways, including contactless options. How would you like to make your return?

If you haven’t already, please contact us to confirm any change to your service.Home pickup Xfinity Store drop off UPS Store drop off Return or exchange xFi Pods I already made my return 

UPS Store drop off

OK. Click the link below to create your return shipping label. You’ll be able to print it out at home.

You can bring your package to the mail carrier’s store and drop it off.Create my return label Find a UPS store 

Xfinity mobile returens

You can ask me questions about your Xfinity Mobile account and services or select one of the options below to get started.Mobile Savings Calculator Trade in your phone Account and plan Billing and payments Troubleshoot Xfinity Mobile Devices Add Xfinity Mobile Bring Your Own Device Data usage options Deals & Promotions Coverage and network Learn more about Xfinity Mobile 

age t

agent

OK. Which service do you need help with?Xfinity Mobile Xfinity Services 

4:45 pm

OK. Which service do you need help with?Xfinity Mobile Xfinity Services 

Xfinity Mobile

Thanks, I can help with most issues, but I’ll put you in touch with an agent if you need more assistance. What do you need help with today?Activation Billing Troubleshooting Other 

Other

You can ask me questions about your Xfinity Mobile account and services or select one of the options below to get started.Mobile Savings Calculator Trade in your phone Account and plan Billing and payments Troubleshoot Xfinity Mobile Devices Add Xfinity Mobile Bring Your Own Device Data usage options Deals & Promotions Coverage and network Learn more about Xfinity Mobile Chat with an agent 

Chat with an agent

Got it. I’ll put you in touch with a live agent now.

Live chat started.

Sudeep joined the chat.

Hi M&p, thank you for contacting Xfinity. My name is Sudeep. I see you may be having trouble with your Xfinity Mobile service. Is that correct?

I need to return a mobile device, I called earlier today, I was told I would receive a label via email, I have not received it

I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. I’m happy to help you.

Let me check this for you .

Please confirm the last 4 digits of the Mobile stored payment method on file:

And first and last name please .

. . . . . .

Please help me with the return order number as well 🙂

I received a cancellation email that reads:

Your line of service has been canceled Xfinity Mobile service for (413) 800-6999 is now canceled. If you didn’t transfer this phone number to another carrier, the phone number will be released and become available to other customers. A couple other reminders: If the phone associated with this line was enrolled in Xfinity Mobile Care, your coverage has been cancelled If there was a smart watch line paired with this phone, its service will be cancelled as well.

I do not have a return order number

Okay . Please confirm the last 4 digits of the Mobile stored payment method on file:

so that I can open your mobile account to check .

I don’t have that

the account was my dads

Okay , I apologise for security purpose we need the account holder on the chat so that we can proceed with further request .

I am the account holder . . . . . I am looking at the account online

I have the account number

I simply need to return this device

no

I have not had to do this before

I have called and chatted multiple times

I do not understand

I have the credit card

the last 4 digits are

I apologise but your name is not added on this account to any role because of that we need to have the account holder to continue with the process for security purpose .

I am the account holder

I am looking at the account online and trying to find a way to return the device

Please allow me a moment , to check the details .

I am sorry to be rude but I am confused and have spent many hours trying to get this done

#### matched , thank you for completing the verification .

I understand your point . May I know when was the return order placed .

?

last week…I believe 9/30

I see the line is showing as deactivated on your account because of that we are not getting the to return the device and I am not able to see return order placed on your account .

the only order which I am able to see is purchase order .

so what am I supposed to do?

If you want I can re-activate the device and check the option to return the device .

omg

It’s my stupid corner

It’s basically anonymous for me to say stuff here in my stupid little corner of the internet. No one will know. It’s brilliant and completely hidden in plain sight. Security isn’t real so why bother trying? Security via obscurity is how this is gonna go.

My kitten has a cold. Poor dude is sneezy and snorty which is my fault for putting him in cat jail for over a week. The whole thing sucks. The expensive travel, the exhausted human and now sick, snotty cat. For now, at least he’s not getting worse. Last thing anyone needs is THAT.

Tired. And sick.

He has warm places to sleep and hasn’t lost his appetite so it looks like all will be fine with the furry four legger.

Me? Who the fuck knows.

What now

The bottom line: there’s no truly safe place for me anymore. Even if that’s not true compared to how most people or other people measure safety but for me, I don’t feel like there’s solid ground under me no matter where I am. And that is not how I want to live. Sadly the thing I want most is to not have to deal with living this whateverthefuckitis life thing. I really don’t. There is too much insecurity, for me, and I have too little energy to do anything differently. So then what the fuck. What now.

I just want to be done. Whether that’s depression or suicidal ideations or a combination of defeatist thinking along with decades of loneliness I don’t really care anymore. Who gives a fucking shit why I don’t want to be here. Why is it mandatory to stick around. It doesn’t make sense to me to do this for other people but I guess I’ll fuck around and find out for as long as I can. But I’m not doing this for one minute longer than I have to and that really does mean pulling the plug – but when.

Not sorry. Just exhausted by the whole thing and I know my existence or lack there of won’t make much difference one way or the other. No one can convince me otherwise. The important people have what they need to continue and that’s what matters most. And no, I am not an important person. I’m expendable.

Displaced

I’m no stranger to feeling a little bit displaced but I’m unexpectedly feeling anxious as hell about it this afternoon. Not sure which came first. Was it the displacement or the anxiety? Maybe they’re the same thing and I’m just putting words on feelings.

Insides jittery or as a friend used to say ‘jiggly’, head hurts, eyes heavy and my heart is empty. That’s prolly the usual loneliness which lingers but Jesus fucking Christ I’d rather be lonely than weighted down again by another human. Only way I’d consider another human is if they’re able, willing and wanting to be a true, equal partner.

Train tracks heading south toward NY

The whole thing about people and things is that we all make too much of the things and don’t take enough care with the people.

If keeping things means you have to have a big house, what’s really important? Looks or what’s really going on? Do you want the truth?

September New England sky

I once estimated I’ve moved 18 times. Several of those were local within the same city or town but still. Moving is something I actually know how to do pretty well.

Too bad folks didn’t let me manage this one but if nothing else, none of the stuff in this place is mine anymore.

Finished in 1878, 108 Lessey St., a grand Italianate Victorian

Don’t die, don’t disappear

Matthew Ryan’s Lyrics

Heard this song yesterday for the first time thanks to whatever algo rules the Apple Music situation I pay a monthly subscription fee to use.

Acoustic “I just died”

Another friend gone. These lyrics just about broke me and I can’t get them outta my head.

Sponcon

I don’t want the screen-and-subscription based future but do I have a choice? Today, I can still opt-out of surveillance like TSA face scans but how long before that’s mandatory to fly in the US?

N+1 Magazine Fall 2024

This stuff has been on my mind a lot lately so when I read Laura Preston’s article in n plus one titled: An Age Of Hyperabundance: At the conversational AI conference.

The vacuousness she describes alongside incredible minds is a contrast I’m familiar with. One where only positivity and impactful results are touted on PowerPoint slides and at event booths where you can also collect pens from any company in the area. Profound and mundane. We’ve seen this before now that we’re about a quarter of the way into the 21st century.

Beneath this promised future, however, was a shadow future, one that suggested itself at every turn. This was a future of screens in every establishment and no way to get help, a future in which extractive algorithms yielded relentless advertising, a future of a crapified internet, too diluted with sponcon and hallucinated facts to be of any use. In this future, if you wanted to use a product you would have to download an app and pay a monthly fee. It was a future of ultra-sophisticated scams and government surveillance, a future where anyone’s face could be spliced into porn. Our arrival in this future would be a gradual surrender, achieved through a slow creep of terms and conditions, and the capitulations had already begun.

So when will Canary Speech be rolled into Microsoft Teams so that it can monitor hundreds of millions of employees? If it is used to do a ‘health audit that breaks down the user’s mood, energy, anxiety, and degree of depression, and identify pre-Parkinson’s traits, as well as early signs of Alzheimer’s’ does that mean the software would be running in the background of every MS teams conversation? Where is that written into the Terms and Conditions? Would I even know how it’s referenced? Jesus fucking Christ.

It’s disheartening to say that least but not at all surprising based on the last 30 years of internet, big tech, legal corporate blah-dee-blah behavior and our current oligarchy. The only way to change is to pay closer attention to who’s got the biggest stake in the conversational AI game.

The author goes on to articulate what I’ve been feeling which is this:

“…(it) all had an odious whiff of physiognomy and race science. It was the same logic that compelled white men to fashion their avatar’s face as the ghostly average of non-Caucasian women, a de facto stereotype, like some Victorian eugenicist’s photography experiment.”

There are no guardrails with most technology in 2024. Sure you have accountability in the form of large settlements but that becomes the cost of doing business, almost everyone builds it into the balance sheet.

When Ms. Peterson writes: “It all suggested a future of ineptitude, where everyone was a brand instrument disguised as a resource.”, I’m nodding my head in agreement. But what do we do about the pervasive hyped-up, Uber-dude, tech show?

The good news is that this stuff isn’t quite baked but that’s the bad news, too. We become unwilling testers and the beat goes on.

OMG WTF FIX UX

If you’re someone touching the design of online privacy stuff, do not let this happen to you. This absolutely takes my breath away – and not in a #goodexperience kind of way. I *get* the intention but can anyone say over engineered? We went from giving all our data away unknowingly to giving it away out of sheer frustration.

Our policies spill out onto screens so dense that no one pauses to read – nor would it matter if one did. Much of it is unverifiable and most of our days are too short on time.

Our org charts are on every about us page known to the internet but do they actually help us? Some are actually fake and those are before OpenAI gave us Sam Altman or vice versa, I can’t tell anymore. If someone codes an algorithm, isn’t it going to reflect their – everything? It cannot be unbiased and we know that from some of the women who told us.

Strap in folks, we’re headed for some weird times. Don’t forget we’re all here, for each other, there is no god waiting somewhere else for us, it is us, we are that as long as anyone believes this guy knows of ‘god‘. Nope, no fucking way. Not when so many good guys are gone. He – god is always he – is you guys*, how about that?

RIP: Don, Sarah, Scott, CT…

Take cover

Take cover! That’s what my brain told my body sometime after 1am last night. Pop pop pop. I pop pop popped into the interior hallway faster than a startled cat. Before I was awake enough to reconsider the whole situation, I peed and went back to bed. Cat came back onto the bed from his bunker underneath. This morning Reddit reminded me of the incident and confirmed it was fireworks being set off on the corner of the two closest main streets.

One thing I like about living here is the sense of community. We may not all be BBQing and drinking beer together but we’ll be looking out. Especially in my zip code. Still defiant up here on the hillside.

Take cover the bombs and the bullets, take time to heal your wounds.

Welcome to my broken car, it don’t go fast but it goes so far…

Take cover from my own bombs, my own bullets. I am not faring well in this war. The drill sergeant – JFC this guy – is terrible and takes it out on me. I’m no match for him dammit. Never really have been. The outside noise is way too much so he ends up taking over and telling me I know nothing and have nothing to offer and worse, sound like a dumb ass who has no business opening the pie hole. I bet he was even harder on my friend but I’ll never find out more, that friend died too dammit.

Take cover from the shame and the darkness, it’s time to look up, be one with stardust. The reality is, everything is fucking fine. As long as there is still money in the bank after all the bills are paid, that’s pretty much it. I do wish for a steady connection to – however menial – daily tasks that contribute to a system working better for people (aka: a job). But I do not even want to fuck with my LinkedIn or resume or website again.

Take cover in the fog, go wander in the cloud, appreciate the mist on your face, dew on flower petals and spider webs. Can’t buy that feeling. I take nothing for granted here in the 93109.

Mind tricks

The mind, mine anyway, likes to play tricks on itself. It ruminates and says silly things. It can’t absorb that some people are gone. It seems to refuse to believe facts. Death. Now that’s irrefutable.

Can’t believe you’re gone. Hate that I can’t share silly internet things and joke about things no one else finds funny.

I hope you departed knowing how much you meant to so many. I’ll only speak for myself here because you and I crossed paths when I was in a rough place, just trying to come home. I made it back because you had a soft place for me to land. I’ll never be able to express how you likely helped save my life. And that’s not me being dramatic, it’s true, I was so fucked up – still am! – and you didn’t judge, you became one of my favorite people. And I’m here because you were here and now you’re not and I’m just so fucking sad.

(I really did wanna build a tiny house on Big Lou’s property).

The socials are just bad

The bottom line is that social shit in 2024 is bad. All. Bad. It scrambles brains, revises nervous systems and has laid bare the worst of the worst human behaviors. When I extract myself fully, I’m much better off. But when I’m in an ‘active account’ phase, I feel like crap.

Active account phase is what I’ve now come to refer to it as because I’ve created, deactivated, and deleted Facebook so many times I’ve lost count, IG is an original account that’s gone through active/inactive phases, LinkedIn has been in the same mode as IG and the bottom line is: I fucking loathe them all. High school in a pocket-sized computer.

Today I popped into my current FB account and within seconds I felt like a left out piece of shit when I saw post from my first house. Someone had visited the location because it was my parents’ first home together, too. I wished I’d been included in the sharing of a picture of the tiles of the street number. Silly, I know. But I’m feeling lonely, disconnected and raw so it hit that frayed nerve.

My first street address

The real reason it hit the nerve is because I only wanted a little house here in my California location. I didn’t stand up for myself. I let other forces take me on some dumb ride that hasn’t turned out so well. I wish someone had told me it was not wrong to want the things I wanted. And to grieve them now isn’t that fucking surprising. It’s lousy that I’ve let it steal my energy, focus, investment and general level of giving-a-shit but right now that’s what’s happening. Acceptance. It’s what’s for dinner.

All mixed up

I’m ALL mixed up over here. I went back to my usual walkabout route – down past my friend and former housemate/landlord’s house which is so damn sad cuz he’s not there anymore.

Save the bees!

While walking I started contemplating seriously whether/if/how my last name is effecting job applications. After all, it’s pretty Jewish and lately we aren’t exactly everyone’s favorite group. Kidding. We’ve never been a favorite group. Please laugh at that even if it’s only a little funny.

Something I never noticed before

The number 143 is associated with Minot’s Ledge Lighthouse in Scituate, Massachusetts, which flashes its lights in a 1-4-3 sequence. 

This sequence is sometimes called “light language” and is also known as the “I Love You Light” or the “lovers light”. The numbers in 143 represent the number of letters in each word of the phrase “I love you”.

Peek through and there’s the Pacific

The ice cream

All I remember from Monday is the ice cream. Trader Joe’s is trying to kill me. This week it is with their smores ice cream to which I had to add pretzels as dipping sticks.

The hangover is terrible but that never stops me from just mowing through the whole freaking pint like it’s a single serving.

The pint in question

While I appreciate the fact that is kosher, I didn’t need that to confirm why I ate the whole fucking thing in one evening. It’s just so damn good.

Eating the feelings

Sunday. July 21.

Espresso, milk. A lot of it.

Eggs with feta and avocado, English muffin, strawberries and honeydew melon.

Chicken and spinach leftovers.

Plain skyr and the rest of the berries.

Three chocolate chip cookies.

Happiest place on earth

When I see – and smell – a big bucket of tuberose (tuberoses?) at the farmers market on a Saturday morning, everything is right with the world. I’d love for life to be so simply perfect like in the kids books like Ferdinand The Bull. Just leave me, let me just sit and smell the flowers. Today I introduced myself to Tony, one of the people who’s always working at that stand. The farm isn’t too far and they like to have visitors so who knows, maybe I’ll finally do that photo thing – capture some of real life at a working farm – I’ve thought about on and off for a really long time.

Smells like Hawaii

Nothing makes any sense

On Sunday, I got a text from a number that wasn’t in my phone. The sister of a friend. Oh no, I thought and plopped onto the couch while my heart dropped into my feet, my stomach followed. I’d texted him the week before an had a fleeting, uh-oh, when I registered not having heard from him in maybe a month. A couple of taps, an excruciating eight minute phone call with his sister (how many of those did she have to do?!). Confirmed, he was gone. He died on my ex-husband’s birthday, not that that matters, but I noticed the date when I looked online for an obituary. He died on the heels of another friend of mine who went out in a spectacularly gruesome episode, just look at the headline, I can’t write about it.

I can’t make sense of any of this – or much else on this day in July of 2024 – for that matter. A bunch of old dudes and their sidekicks survive and treat the rest of us like shit while good people are dead. Scott, who passed away on 6/30/24, was one of the best people I’ve ever had the good fortune to call friend. He didn’t deserve to suffer and die so soon.

I am glad he doesn’t have to see our country get any crazier. Maybe I’ll hang an American flag in his honor. He used to have one hanging outside his house, at the mailbox on the curb, it was visible to anyone passing by. Folks started thinking he was a Donald supporter which he most certainly was not. Scott was kind, decent, nonjudgemental, among other things, and I defended him and his flag more than once. It’s ours and that was what Scott was about. A Deadhead to the core. I do wish I’d had the chance to let him know how much he meant to me.

I know it sounds terrible but one of the things Scott and I had in common was that we didn’t really like people. We laughed about it many times because we got along so well as soon as we met almost exactly five years ago. I don’t know the exact date but it was July of 2019. Thank you for being my friend, Scott. I hope you know how much you’ll be missed.

One of the bazillion dead songs you knew

Women. Stop asking for answers

You can have anything you want. If you’ve got the wherewithal to send a question to a newspaper, you can get yourself some covers. So why the fuck do you need an apology?

No I haven’t read the column. The clickbait got me cranky even before I clicked it. The whole fucking thing is beyond stupid.

Get your own covers. Forget lame ass apologies. And stop broadcasting dumb shit that makes women look like fucking toddlers.

Anthony Bourdain

So wise.

“Life is complicated. It’s filled with nuance. It’s unsatisfying. If I believe in anything, it is doubt. The root cause of all life’s problems is looking for a simple fucking answer.” 

—Anthony Bourdain

Hipstamatic

Still a favorite photo app even though it just crashed when I tried to grab the specs for these pics. Makes ordinary look lovely.

Red grapes on cutting board
Pink tulips against green tile

Stock photography misses

Sometimes stock photos are obvious and disappointing. Not everyone will notice or care but I can’t help it. Don’t let this generic image happen to your marketing materials.

Photo of a woman looking at camera with laptop, stylish coffee, notebook and smartphone on white marble surface

Jobs

What is wrong with wanting to have a job? I have been an independent business person since before I could work legally. Delivering newspapers, mowing lawns, babysitting little kids and mucking horse stalls. 45 years later it’s business advising, marketing, digital strategy – and implementing all the things. I’m a one person agency again and I’m not happy about it.

I hung that up formally in 2022 for the promise of a role I wanted in a (seemingly) growing company only to find out it was in total bullshit. How could I have been so naive after decades of work? Rhetorical. There’s no good answer.

So, no job. But there’s work. Work to find work. Work to keep a little inbound cash flow from drying up. Work to describe the work. Then doing all the fucking shit.

Not pleased but yeah, I’m grateful. But. What a fucked up state of affairs.

Shoulda been a software engineer.

Truth is in the thermals

When truth is missing, is it really gone? Maybe it’s hiding somewhere in the thermals only to be seen by birds.

Rare Bird, Toad The Wet Sprocket

Hear me, wherever you are tonight.

You’d better be flying high.

Substack

Yep I’m gonna whine about bad UX again. This time it’s Substack.

It’s a double burger!

Check out this craptastico website. it has not one but two hamburger menus. They’re different sizes too. How. Why. Ok I’ll stop wondering.

Two hamburger menus. One website.

And another thing. It’d be great to be able to DO THINGS in the app. But nope. No, you cannot manage your subscription in there.

No. Can’t do that. Not in the app. But where then.

At least tell me where to go to manage my subscription. Maybe even link to it?

Sheesh. Fine. Don’t. Yes that’s sarcasm.

Stay away from the pit

The pit of despair is visible. It’s just below this rickety ass, cobbled together rope bridge. I think I’m in the middle of it. But the bridge is long and the pit, deep.

It’s tough not to think, jump. Just check it out. Maybe the water is fine. If water is what’s down there.

I’m supposed to care about things. I know that. What if I just don’t. And never will, ever again. It’s possible.

Maybe I’ve hit the pit after all.